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Category Archives: Relationship

Creating The Perfect Atmosphere

Those were the days where we would always hang out in a big group, a group of both guys and girls, partying and having fun together. There was this fine evening that we gathered at a friend’s place for a little party, followed by some games of Black Jack during the later evening. We were sited in one big circle in this nice and cozy room. Sitting beside me was this girl, a very beautiful girl I must admit. But well, it had never cross my mind of a relationship further than that of a friend with her. There just wasn’t any chemistry between us. Then came an ace for me! Before I realize anything, this girl beside me suddenly just came in so close on me. I know she was just been excited and curious on whether I would get my Jack. But at this very moment, her knee was on my lap, shoulder right in front of my chest. We were suddenly just so close; I could feel the beautiful fragrance from her soft silky hair. My heart was suddenly pounding so fast, gasping for breath. I was totally at loss, for that very moment, she got me! That chemistry; that frequency, which had never happened between us, suddenly just flowed through me so relentlessly. Just imagine, if she were to give me a peck on my cheek out of excitement if I got a Black Jack… Ha well, that of course didn’t happen and neither did I get my jack.

Get the picture now? This is a very natural human psychological reaction. When one is in the stage experiencing that sudden increase in the heartbeat, undergoing a sudden feeling of excitement, he tends to get confused, unknowingly developing that feeling of liking for that someone beside him, especially when the person is of the opposite sex. An opposite sex of, whom he does not have any bad impression. Not to mention an opposite sex of whom he has a good impression of?

Ha! I know what’s on your mind now… Well, there’s nothing wrong, why not? Go create that perfect atmosphere; an atmosphere that would make one’s heart beats faster. An atmosphere that would make the sudden chemistry of love flowing between both of you. A roller coaster ride? A haunted house adventure? Having a good laugh together after the rides? A nice chatting session over the coffee table after a game of his favorite sports, tennis? Singing her a love song with your guitar in front of everyone?

Looking for Love

How Do I Look?

Research and common knowledge are clear that we select a mate on personal appearance. However, what is not commonly understood is how we have control over how appealing we can be. My client thought she was doomed to be alone because she does not look like a movie star and she is over a certain age. This was her dating distortion. She had taken a kernel of truth, which is the importance of looking your best, and exaggerated it to her own detriment.

How can you look your best?

The first area my client worked on was feeling good from the inside out. Focusing on strengths instead of weaknesses; wins instead of losses; and accomplishments instead of failures gave her a foundation to build on.

Secondly, she looked deeply to discover what her passions were. She had forgotten some of her dreams and lost touch with some of her talents that needed to be brought out and polished. She began to define who she was and what she was meant to do. This gave her confidence.

And thirdly, my client made an assessment of her outward presentation and made some changes. With feedback from her friends, she developed better posture, updated her makeup and hairstyle, and chose clothes in colors, fit, and texture that were flattering. She also began an exercise program four days a week. All of these activities gave her energy.

Finding Asian Girl Online

When a person searches for true love, they must not have any assumptions. If you desire the pure love of an Asian girl, then you must also throw away all stereotypes that you may have about Asian girls – that they are submissive, docile, naive, too eager to please, and whatever else.

Since love is never expressed in a cookie-cut design, remember that your true love, the Asian girl of your dreams, who will rescue you from this abominable and inescapable trap of single white females, will perhaps be un-accepting of your previous judgments and stereotypes you have come to know and believe.

Just so I am perfectly clear, I have dated American women, and they are wonderful human beings for whom I have no ill feelings whatsoever.

That previous statement about the trap of single white females was merely an exaggeration of the impression I received from your comments on American females.

As I was taught, assumptions and stereotypes can destroy a relationship and sometimes prevent them before they even begin. I learned it was not fair for me to say that every Asian girl I date will be exactly as the first love in my life, who was indeed Asian.

Perhaps I am speaking of things you have already come to understand, and I have no intentions of insulting your intelligence, or that any American females either.

True love comes with complete honesty and open heart. And the only word of advice which I still have failed to completely grasp is that any woman – Asian, American, Latvian, etc.,
hates to hear about your past relationships.

Women in general never like it when you bring up an ex. In rare cases, a few may accept it as an opening up. Yeah, I know what I just said may sound like a generalization, but wouldn’t you also dislike hearing about a girl’s ex-boyfriend(s)? Maybe not, but…that goes without saying…don’t generalize either.

In no way am I the perfect male. I do my best to reveal who I am and being honest with the one I love, and at the same time, be honest with myself. You are well on the path of finding and understanding true love.

I commend you greatly for writing your experiences as you have. It relates to many, many, many men out there who do not have the courage to come out and have their own life written out on a website such as yourself.

About Dating Younger Men

If you’re answer is to not feel lonely, then you haven’t done the work. However, if you have and are ready to experience some “new” things in your life, then you should be open to “dating’ a variety of men. Don’t you want to see what’s out there? Discover who you’re attracted to now as a sexier, mature woman?

Something that all women should consider is this new statistic that emerged not too long ago, 1/3 of women over 40 are now dating younger men. Men have been dating and marrying women 10-15 and even 20 years younger, so we too, should test the waters and see what a younger man can offer. I can see a few raised eyebrows as well as some women thinking “what’s a younger man interested in an older woman for?” Well, Rapunzel, let you hair down and come down from the ivory tower and take a look at what you may be missing out on.

Simply stated, a younger man is great for one’s ego. Being appreciated as a woman for all that you are and all that you’ve learned and all that you’ve become, that’s what many younger men will be attracted to.

Always keeping things in perspective, I am not suggesting moving in or getting into a serious relationship, but simply begin being open to encountering younger men and to relish in a truly indulgent experience. You can have a date or two, see if you have things in common, see his qualities, his maturity (remember, age does not bring maturity) and see if he fits into what you’re looking for right now.

Think of those words “right now”. Most of us miss out on experiencing Mr. Right Now, because they’re so wrapped up in seeking Mr. Right. Ladies, I am sure you’ve realized that Mr. Right is not around the corner, nor is he going to knock on you’re door in a suit of shining amour (yes, I still get a lot of women that harbor that dream in my coaching sessions).

In the real world, suits are a little tarnished and used, which is known as experience and isn’t that what has made us into who we are today?

Younger vs. Older:

Younger men won’t expect you to cook/clean and take care of them, older men do!
Younger men won’t gasp at the use of condoms; many older men get “offended” when you mention the word “condom” (they figure you should “trust” them) Ladies, when it comes to you’re well being, never don’t fall for the old line “I’ve only been with….”

Younger men are open to new experiences; many older men are too set in their ways.

Convinced? Ok, all I ask is that you start smiling with younger men and see the response, if nothing else; the smile they give you back will elevate your morale.

Info of Learn To Attract Women

The ability to be a man is quite to difficult to learn, be it in school, from friends, or even asking women for advice!

We, as men have been denied how to be men and this usually results in 1 of 2 behaviours in men:

1. A nice guy who always gets walked all over, always put up with any type humiliation, and does nothing about it.

OR

2. Men that become jerky due to their pasts with women, and will hurt women in the process.

Incidentally the jerk will always get the girl over the nice guy, simply as he knows how to demonstrate strength, however the jerk never lasts with women as he ends up making countless heartbroken enemies in women.

Neither being a jerk or nice guy bodes well with us men.

Be More Romantic

1) Dress up once in a while and go somewhere fancy.

2) Hire a limo.

3) One word: Flowers (for either a male or a female).
4) Wear good cologne/perfume.

5) Send a card just because.

6) Light a fire in the fireplace, if you have one, or a bonfire on a beach, if it is legal.

7) Light candles–and lots of them.

8) Put on soft music. We recommend classical, jazz or instrumental. (This doesn’t mean playing acid rock softly.)

9) Make dinner and serve it on the good china.

10) Go to a restaurant that has a pianist, violinist, cellist, etc.

11) Turn off your cell phone and pager during your date.

12) Use a softer, indoor voice and say sweet things.

13) Cuddle.

14) Read poetry together.

15) Go to the symphony, ballet, or whenever your partner wants to go.

16) Go ballroom dancing.

17) Don’t mention sports, the kids, work or any kind of troubles for the whole evening.

18) Take a carriage ride.

19) Take an incline ride or a trolley ride, if your city has one, and view all the city lights at night.

20) Take a river cruise or a boat ride for no special occasion.

All about Dating Dos and Don’ts

  • Do be realistic. After all, this is your first date and the two of you are getting to know each other. Don’t have any high expectations. Relax and enjoy yourself.
  • Don’t go thinking about what happened at the office today, tomorrow’s appointment, or whether the children are putting up a fuss with the babysitter. Do be in the moment.
  • Do turn your cell phone off or at least put it on vibrate alert. Don’t interrupt your date to take call after call unless you’re looking to “turn off” your date.
  • Don’t monopolize the conversation. Do listen to your date and show interest in what your date is saying by asking some questions. This is an excellent opportunity for the two of you to learn if you share any similar interests, values, and goals.
  • Do keep to the present. The past is in the past and, surprisingly, the future is unknown. Don’t go talking, whining or complaining about your previous relationships.
  • Don’t be a lump on the log and take things so seriously. Do show a sense of humor and let your personality shine through.
  • Do pay attention to your body language. Be positive and show confidence. Make eye contact. Don’t cross your arms. Don’t fidget. Don’t forget to smile. Take a deep breath and have fun. You both deserve it.
  • Don’t waste your date’s time by pretending to be someone you are not. Do be yourself. After all, is this not what you would want from your date?
  • Do practice good manners. For men, this may mean offering to pay, opening doors, and pulling out a chair. We women can offer to pay too. Don’t forget your table manners as well.
  • Don’t say you’ll call if you know you won’t. Do be honest, but have some compassion. A simple “I don’t find that we’re as compatible as I thought,” should be enough.” If on the other hand, you’re interested, do let your date know–even if it means risking rejection. And if the two of you really hit it off, do be sure to let the other know you had a good time and don’t hesitate to call or send a surprise e-mail a few days later to share your sentiments again.

 

Info of Rejection, Fear, and Dating

In order to get into a new relationship, we have to be willing to meet and go out with people. It’s our own fear, however, that often gets in the way.

× We fear getting rejected.

× We fear having a bad time.

× We fear getting hurt.

× We fear having to reject someone else.

All these fears are valid yet easily overcome. If someone rejects you, it only means that that person feels you are not right for them. Believe me, there is someone else who would love to be with you. You have to accept rejection. It is only through trying do we get to the right person.

Many dates and relationships don’t work out. You may look back and think of it as a bad time. It is all right to have a bad time. Only through bad dates do we get to the good dates. It is through our bad relationships that we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and what we want, to then approach relationships with more knowledge to succeed.

No one wants to get hurt but if we do not dare to fall in love and get hurt, we cannot be in love. Getting hurt is part of the process. We do get through it and the pain does go away. The best part is there is new love waiting for you.

You may also be fearful of rejecting someone. The truth is no one is obligated to stay with someone who isn’t right for them. Rejection is part of the dating and relationship process.

Change how you look at rejection and see it as a favor. When you reject someone you are releasing him or her to go find someone who will truly appreciate that person. Look at it that way also when someone rejects you. After all, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want you? It’s better to be free to find someone who actually wants to be with you.

Can you predict the future? I can’t. In fact, most of us don’t think we can. Yet we continue to believe in self-limiting thoughts about the future. We believe so firmly in these thoughts we allow them to stop us from moving forward and realizing opportunities.

Instead of predicting pain, I can predict for you that if you embrace the dating process instead of watching life pass you by, you will have both good and bad times. I can also predict that these good and bad times will lead you to even better times.

Embrace the journey and release your fear.

Don’t Be Too Grateful

Here’s an example: A woman (let’s call her Audrey) starts dating a guy (let’s call him Doug). Doug is by far the most handsome guy she’s ever dated. In fact, he’s the first guy she’s dated in quite some time. She can’t believe her good fortune because, in the looks-oriented world we live in, Audrey has been told she’s lacking. She figures she hit the jackpot with Doug.

Her friends can’t believe her luck. Heck, her own parents can’t believe her luck.

And Doug is really, really nice. He’s nice to Audrey about 85{e82d9d590e8a374703d2458ead8716ad09c78aa7ad1817c15c4470985c6f801f} of the time. Sure, he asks to borrow her car a lot. He doesn’t always show up when he says he will. He goes out with the boys more often than he does with her. She’s caught him in a couple of lies.

But so what! Who cares if sometimes he’s a bad boy? Most of the time, he’s great. Doug makes Audrey feel special (most of the time). He makes her feel beautiful (most of the time). Hey, he’s a guy, and he’s good looking. She’s just grateful she has a boyfriend.

There are too far many women like Audrey on this planet, and they send me the saddest letters. They get taken for a ride (sometimes in their own cars), and eventually end up picking themselves out of a ditch while Prince Charming moves on to his next victim.

I personally know two guys who consistently date Audreys precisely because they’re “grateful.” I firmly believe the world is full of wonderful men, but there exists a certain breed of loser who target women that suffer from poor self-images. The goal is to take such women for all they’re worth.

Successful With Women

Offering consistent respect is the first area of importance, one that should be considered a basic human right and a mandatory condition for any interaction. Regardless of one’s title, gender, religious adherence, sexual preference, socioeconomic or political place, such respect allows for healthy boundaries of physical safety and genuine intellectual and emotional consideration of another’s contribution. I’ve found it quite natural to extend this same level of respect to everyone that I’ve worked with (including of course, women) and that this same level of respect was reciprocated. As a result we were able to create a work-life culture that supported both our personal and professional happiness. Collaborative ideas were validated and easily executed, sales and production goals were often exceeded and customer retention was increased, all resulting in greater revenue and more financial rewards for ourselves. I began with this area of respect because I am absolutely convinced that having it present counteracts and resolves many work related concerns.

The kind of fair and prioritized wisdom that values respect also leads to my next area, encouraging the acknowledgement of ideas. This definitely means more than just listening. Most of us would agree that women are generally more verbally communicative; one important aspect of this is that they tend to share more with those whom they feel particularly trusted and respected by. The reason this is of great importance in the workplace is because women are informed and active in many consumer activities with regularity on a scale that men are not, enabling them to control a large extent of our gross domestic product. A short visit to your local shopping center will attest to this obvious truth, while online retailers like eBay and Amazon are predominantly geared towards women. Given this, their creative input is a vital source of potential data and innovation only made useful when it is actually heard, validated and acted upon. Encouraging them to share their ideas will create benefit and a driven kind of unity when those ideas are acknowledged and incorporated into methods and production.

Our willingness to celebrate and reward collaborative efforts equally is the third area to consider. This creates a cultural shift recognizing and affirming the importance of men and women working together towards mutual goals. Up until recently the standard of inequality in the workplace ensured a competition between men and women that was rigged, offering a patronizing kind of encouragement that women still have not seen rewarded consistently in their paychecks. As we all recognize how our efforts are made meaningful, it’s time to really highlight our successes based on the first two areas above and transform those into changes that steadily reward women on an equal footing with men.

As technology advances, we are globally closer, resulting in greater competition in the marketplace. This also allows for information and dialogue about innovation, success and justice to be consistently shared publicly in a way that used to be more hidden, subverted and controlled. Online campaigns or reports can create a crippling boycott of a company with its head stuck in the sand regarding equality, whereas real-life success stories of companies that are embracing and visibly reaping the benefits of incorporating these three areas can create surges in growth for a business. In both the employment and consumer market, it’s easy to guess which company a woman would want to align herself with.