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Monthly Archives: May 2018

All about Dating Dos and Don’ts

  • Do be realistic. After all, this is your first date and the two of you are getting to know each other. Don’t have any high expectations. Relax and enjoy yourself.
  • Don’t go thinking about what happened at the office today, tomorrow’s appointment, or whether the children are putting up a fuss with the babysitter. Do be in the moment.
  • Do turn your cell phone off or at least put it on vibrate alert. Don’t interrupt your date to take call after call unless you’re looking to “turn off” your date.
  • Don’t monopolize the conversation. Do listen to your date and show interest in what your date is saying by asking some questions. This is an excellent opportunity for the two of you to learn if you share any similar interests, values, and goals.
  • Do keep to the present. The past is in the past and, surprisingly, the future is unknown. Don’t go talking, whining or complaining about your previous relationships.
  • Don’t be a lump on the log and take things so seriously. Do show a sense of humor and let your personality shine through.
  • Do pay attention to your body language. Be positive and show confidence. Make eye contact. Don’t cross your arms. Don’t fidget. Don’t forget to smile. Take a deep breath and have fun. You both deserve it.
  • Don’t waste your date’s time by pretending to be someone you are not. Do be yourself. After all, is this not what you would want from your date?
  • Do practice good manners. For men, this may mean offering to pay, opening doors, and pulling out a chair. We women can offer to pay too. Don’t forget your table manners as well.
  • Don’t say you’ll call if you know you won’t. Do be honest, but have some compassion. A simple “I don’t find that we’re as compatible as I thought,” should be enough.” If on the other hand, you’re interested, do let your date know–even if it means risking rejection. And if the two of you really hit it off, do be sure to let the other know you had a good time and don’t hesitate to call or send a surprise e-mail a few days later to share your sentiments again.

 

Info of Rejection, Fear, and Dating

In order to get into a new relationship, we have to be willing to meet and go out with people. It’s our own fear, however, that often gets in the way.

× We fear getting rejected.

× We fear having a bad time.

× We fear getting hurt.

× We fear having to reject someone else.

All these fears are valid yet easily overcome. If someone rejects you, it only means that that person feels you are not right for them. Believe me, there is someone else who would love to be with you. You have to accept rejection. It is only through trying do we get to the right person.

Many dates and relationships don’t work out. You may look back and think of it as a bad time. It is all right to have a bad time. Only through bad dates do we get to the good dates. It is through our bad relationships that we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and what we want, to then approach relationships with more knowledge to succeed.

No one wants to get hurt but if we do not dare to fall in love and get hurt, we cannot be in love. Getting hurt is part of the process. We do get through it and the pain does go away. The best part is there is new love waiting for you.

You may also be fearful of rejecting someone. The truth is no one is obligated to stay with someone who isn’t right for them. Rejection is part of the dating and relationship process.

Change how you look at rejection and see it as a favor. When you reject someone you are releasing him or her to go find someone who will truly appreciate that person. Look at it that way also when someone rejects you. After all, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want you? It’s better to be free to find someone who actually wants to be with you.

Can you predict the future? I can’t. In fact, most of us don’t think we can. Yet we continue to believe in self-limiting thoughts about the future. We believe so firmly in these thoughts we allow them to stop us from moving forward and realizing opportunities.

Instead of predicting pain, I can predict for you that if you embrace the dating process instead of watching life pass you by, you will have both good and bad times. I can also predict that these good and bad times will lead you to even better times.

Embrace the journey and release your fear.

Don’t Be Too Grateful

Here’s an example: A woman (let’s call her Audrey) starts dating a guy (let’s call him Doug). Doug is by far the most handsome guy she’s ever dated. In fact, he’s the first guy she’s dated in quite some time. She can’t believe her good fortune because, in the looks-oriented world we live in, Audrey has been told she’s lacking. She figures she hit the jackpot with Doug.

Her friends can’t believe her luck. Heck, her own parents can’t believe her luck.

And Doug is really, really nice. He’s nice to Audrey about 85{e82d9d590e8a374703d2458ead8716ad09c78aa7ad1817c15c4470985c6f801f} of the time. Sure, he asks to borrow her car a lot. He doesn’t always show up when he says he will. He goes out with the boys more often than he does with her. She’s caught him in a couple of lies.

But so what! Who cares if sometimes he’s a bad boy? Most of the time, he’s great. Doug makes Audrey feel special (most of the time). He makes her feel beautiful (most of the time). Hey, he’s a guy, and he’s good looking. She’s just grateful she has a boyfriend.

There are too far many women like Audrey on this planet, and they send me the saddest letters. They get taken for a ride (sometimes in their own cars), and eventually end up picking themselves out of a ditch while Prince Charming moves on to his next victim.

I personally know two guys who consistently date Audreys precisely because they’re “grateful.” I firmly believe the world is full of wonderful men, but there exists a certain breed of loser who target women that suffer from poor self-images. The goal is to take such women for all they’re worth.

Successful With Women

Offering consistent respect is the first area of importance, one that should be considered a basic human right and a mandatory condition for any interaction. Regardless of one’s title, gender, religious adherence, sexual preference, socioeconomic or political place, such respect allows for healthy boundaries of physical safety and genuine intellectual and emotional consideration of another’s contribution. I’ve found it quite natural to extend this same level of respect to everyone that I’ve worked with (including of course, women) and that this same level of respect was reciprocated. As a result we were able to create a work-life culture that supported both our personal and professional happiness. Collaborative ideas were validated and easily executed, sales and production goals were often exceeded and customer retention was increased, all resulting in greater revenue and more financial rewards for ourselves. I began with this area of respect because I am absolutely convinced that having it present counteracts and resolves many work related concerns.

The kind of fair and prioritized wisdom that values respect also leads to my next area, encouraging the acknowledgement of ideas. This definitely means more than just listening. Most of us would agree that women are generally more verbally communicative; one important aspect of this is that they tend to share more with those whom they feel particularly trusted and respected by. The reason this is of great importance in the workplace is because women are informed and active in many consumer activities with regularity on a scale that men are not, enabling them to control a large extent of our gross domestic product. A short visit to your local shopping center will attest to this obvious truth, while online retailers like eBay and Amazon are predominantly geared towards women. Given this, their creative input is a vital source of potential data and innovation only made useful when it is actually heard, validated and acted upon. Encouraging them to share their ideas will create benefit and a driven kind of unity when those ideas are acknowledged and incorporated into methods and production.

Our willingness to celebrate and reward collaborative efforts equally is the third area to consider. This creates a cultural shift recognizing and affirming the importance of men and women working together towards mutual goals. Up until recently the standard of inequality in the workplace ensured a competition between men and women that was rigged, offering a patronizing kind of encouragement that women still have not seen rewarded consistently in their paychecks. As we all recognize how our efforts are made meaningful, it’s time to really highlight our successes based on the first two areas above and transform those into changes that steadily reward women on an equal footing with men.

As technology advances, we are globally closer, resulting in greater competition in the marketplace. This also allows for information and dialogue about innovation, success and justice to be consistently shared publicly in a way that used to be more hidden, subverted and controlled. Online campaigns or reports can create a crippling boycott of a company with its head stuck in the sand regarding equality, whereas real-life success stories of companies that are embracing and visibly reaping the benefits of incorporating these three areas can create surges in growth for a business. In both the employment and consumer market, it’s easy to guess which company a woman would want to align herself with.